Authors List
Authors List
George Carlin
Quotes by George Carlin
I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.
I don't vote, because I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain.
We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.
Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. Well who has less abortions than homosexuals?
It's called the American Dream, 'cause you have to be asleep to believe it.
Rights aren't rights if someone can take them away. They're privileges. That's all we've ever had in this country, is a bill of temporary privileges.
Everyone complains about politicians. Everyone says they suck. But where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky; they don't pass through a membrane from a separate reality. They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. And they're elected by American voters. This is what our system produces, folks. This is the best we can do.
I have certain rules I live by. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.
The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you.
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